Spoiled like a custard left in the sun... or a bratty child...

[spqrblues]

So, it's past midnight, blah blah blah. I know it's only Saturday, but does anyone have a link to a review with a plot outline and comprehensive spoilery information about the ending of you know what I'm talking about, so I can satisfy my curiosity and know the most significant news about Literature since Christopher Marlowe snuck back to England disguised as a custard tart-seller and spilled the beans on the last act of Hamlet outside the Globe on premiere night and ruined it for ninth-grade English-class students forever? Ten hours should be long enough to speed-read through, what is it, about 50,000 pages of book, right? I fear if I have to wait for various friends to read the thing, they'll all be too giddy to speak by the end of it, or emotionally destroyed, or uplifted to a new plane of philosophical existence, but any of the these things makes it difficult to have a conversation. And not this link, I already tried it, and the endings weren't at all useful (don't worry, kids, it's spoiler free!).

Provide me some hard info (but not in the comments section, I don't want to be murdered in my sleep), and I promise that something character-alteringly dramatic will happen by comic #LXX. Not that character-altering drama hasn't already happened. And not that it wouldn't have happened anyway. Oh well, never mind. No SPQR Spoilers for you--that would ruin everything.

Update: Wherein It's Completely Legal Now So Bite Me does the job nicely!

Comments

[liminalia.livejournal.com]

Try spoilme_dh?

[meritahut.livejournal.com]

Dagnabbit--I tried the link, and got an error message. Brought down by shenanigans, no doubt! :)

[liminalia.livejournal.com]

Maybe I left out a space between spoil and me?

[meritahut.livejournal.com]

Aha, found it :) spoil_me_dh

Enjoy!

[suzene.livejournal.com]

http://mightygodking.livejournal.com/345287.html

Re: Enjoy!

[suzene.livejournal.com]

Should also probably point out that this review is irreverant in the extreme. XD

Re: Enjoy!

[meritahut.livejournal.com]

Sounds perfect!

Re: Enjoy!

[suzene.livejournal.com]

In that case, you might like Mike Smith's Harry Potter reviews as well. He's just started on DH -- http://mike-smith.livejournal.com/153003.html

Re: Enjoy!

[meritahut.livejournal.com]

I'll save that one for dessert this evening :D

Re: Enjoy!

[(Anonymous)]

Talk about a lazy reader: I skimmed the review rather than the book. It looks like the book has flaws, and I suspect the flaws will not seriously disturb Harry's fan club one little bit.

Re: Enjoy!

[(Anonymous)]

Talk about a lazy reader: I skimmed the review rather than the book. It looks like the book has flaws, and I suspect the flaws will not seriously disturb Harry's fan club one little bit.
Hmm, this stupid machine just posted my comment before I was finished. Gotta watch what buttons get pressed. Seriously, I have suspected that Ms. Rowling had a bit of trouble getting motivated to finish the last book. Perhaps the enjoyment had palled, but the contract and Big Bucks intervened. Still I hope all the big Potter Fans out there enjoy it thoroughly. I'll probably read it my first... when I can cadge a copy from friends who've laid down their hard-earned cash rather than mine. DRW.

Easily entertained

[cyanocorax.livejournal.com]

Well, I read the book and then I read the snark and have to say I thoroughly enjoyed both.

Re: Easily entertained

[meritahut.livejournal.com]

Another super-fast reader.

I'm glad folks are enjoying the book. I'd hate to think of all those fans being miserable after finally getting the last book in their series. But I feel a not-so-secret joy at the end of the hype... well, except for the movies, which will be a couple more years of hype. And the eventual sequels :D

Re: Easily entertained

[cyanocorax.livejournal.com]

I guess the thing about the fan hysteria and the hype is that there's no way a true fan could be miserable. Never underestimate the power of suggestion. When the leaked copy started circulating, some fans decided that it had to be fake because the prose wasn't as good as Rowling's. I checked -- the main leakage was in fact the real thing. And I wonder how those naysayers are explaining themselves now that in a blind test they didn't recognize Rowling's "brilliance." The suggestion that the pages weren't hers meant they looked at it with a different eye.

Luckily I don't get paid to be independently critical of literature. Mostly I read to de-stress and escape. HP works for me.

And I will tell you that it reads out loud MUCH MUCH better than Paolini's work.

Re: Easily entertained

[meritahut.livejournal.com]

And I will tell you that it reads out loud MUCH MUCH better than Paolini's work.

Praise so faint it is invisible >:D


(The Paolini fans will be hunting me down soon... I tell ya, it's dangerous out here in children's lit.)

[(Anonymous)]

So I went into a Costco in Sequim yesterday and there were two pallet loads of HP&DH smack in the middle of the entrance causing the quantum shopping question: left or right, but no, gravity won since two pallet loads of HP&DH is hellon more mass than me and I stood at the gnawed off corner of this ridiculous Guttenbergian block (price check: 18.25) and thought about pallets like this placed at geodesic nodes around the planet and wondered at the carbon debt Ms. Rowling has incurred by producing this much paper, not to mention the pallet wood the paper is sitting on, but I could not find the energy to pick up a copy. Besides I'd rather spend 18.25 on a SPQR Blues collection.

[hieran.livejournal.com]

"Besides I'd rather spend 18.25 on a SPQR Blues collection."

Hear, hear!

:-)
Robin

Spoiler Alert

[hieran.livejournal.com]

Spoiler Alert!








You were warned!!!








OK, I'm not a Harry Potter fan. I haven't read any of the books or seen any of the movies. I watched about five minutes of the Prisoner of Whatzit when it came on TV recently, and I found it mindnumbingly boring ... but maybe it was just a slow scene. I dunno.

Anyway, I did skim through the big snarky recap, and I enjoyed the humor of it somewhat as a snarky review. But I have to say that no matter what the fandom is, the whole "19 years later" epilogue has got to be the biggest piece of fan-pandering shite ever written. Even not knowing the characters, I was giggling ... everybody got married, had kids, named their kids after our dearly departed friends 'n' mentors, and apparently lived happily ever after with no more adventures...

Ah well. I hope it made the fans happy!

gears Re: Spoiler Alert

[ndgmtlcd.livejournal.com]

OK, delete it if you want, but I'll still be thinking of Roman oil lamps, coins, geared clepsidrae and miniature amphora ("38 models! Collect them all!) as "gizmos and gimmicks that can be merchandised".

Re: gears Re: Spoiler Alert

[meritahut.livejournal.com]

Heh. I like the way you think!

I'll delete the rash comments and leave the rest down here:

Does this need spoiler space?

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spoiler space

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I'm sure some of it was an awful disappointment to fans who had other fave pairings. But I guess Rowling had some sense in her mind of where her characters would end up, so now she doesn't have to write it in story format, just state it. Which I occasonally feel like doing myself.

So what I figure the world needs now to fill the hole in the fad-buying market (mind you, I think fads are a great thing--they get lots of diverse people to root for the same thing) is a graphic novel with intense attention to characters and complicatedly tangled personal relationships of families and friends and enemies, a world people would want to live in/believe really exists, a few gizmos and gimmicks that can be merchandised, a quest, and we won't particularly worry about plotting or writing as long as we collect those other elements that keep people engaged and intrigued and happy.

Re: gears Re: Spoiler Alert

[(Anonymous)]

From what I've seen of Potter fan-fic all mathematical permutations of character pairings in the Potter-verse have been consumated. And you just happen to have the manuscript for this Potter-vacuum filler, eh?

Re: gears Re: Spoiler Alert

[meritahut.livejournal.com]

Yup, I have the golden manuscript, and will soon be a multi-millionaire. Or, a much more likely scenario, I'll be the unknown, underpaid editor for a world-famous author who eventually becomes too famous and important to accept any editing. Thus is the life of an editor, you know.

(And if I don't really have the golden manuscript, I'll know it when I see it! I will! Mark my crazy words!)

Re: Spoiler Alert

[cyanocorax.livejournal.com]

The epilogue was disappointing. I'd have preferred the old "Where are they now" style, which might have allowed more details, allusions to further adventures, and been funnier.

Of course naming the kids and briefly sketching their personalities leaves the door open to a vast new world of fanfic. If you are into that sort of thing (I'm actually not).

Personally, I wanted to know what jobs everyone had. Like what does a guy like Percy go on to do after being a repentant ass-kisser? Imagine his resume.