Chocolate is the devil's tool

[spqrblues]

My Sweet Lord. It's not that I haven't had any angst for a Daily Angst lately. It's just I am so overly angstified, that anything I can bear to draw without simply imploding from despair will be painfully obvious commentary, like this:


Did you know that chocolate has the potential to bring down a religion? In fact, chocolate is one of the most powerful religions there is. Chocolate is all that is good and right in the world. I think I'll go get some, maybe in the form of a little Easter bunny or creme-filled Cadbury egge complete with sugary fake yolke, or maybe a little Easter sheep. Nummy.

I hear that the artist once covered a bed in ham, which is much more repulsive than a chocolate anything, if you ask me.

"This is one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever," fumed the head of the Catholic League pressure group, Bill Donohue. Unlike war, poverty, injustice, torture, child abuse, intolerance, bigotry, hate-mongering, and white chocolate with macadamia nuts.

"The 'My Sweet Lord' display was shut down by the hotel that houses the Lab Gallery in Manhattan, said Matt Semler, the gallery's creative director. Semler said he resigned after officials at the Roger Smith Hotel shut down the show.... 'In this situation, the hotel couldn't continue to be supportive because of a fear for their own safety,' Semler said."

Frankly, I think the worst part about it is that the thing just doesn't look very appetising. Chocolate worshippers should protest.

I suppose I also just enjoy spending time in Rome more than drawing about the real world. I mean, I already have to live in the real world. I'd rather tell stories about someplace else. Also, I seldom have a reason to draw bears when commenting about ordinary modern life.

That bear is definitely making an SPQR Blues comeback.

Comments

[kyleen66.livejournal.com]

You know, sometimes those Catholic Peeps don't know how to take a joke.

You awake? Can I call you? I haven't talked to you in DAAAAYYYSSSS... weeks even I think. ::sniff::

[meritahut.livejournal.com]

Peeps... I want Peeps. But this year's crop aren't properly aged to that crispy outer coating yet....

Yah, I'm awake. I should be working, but apparently I am not.

[fair-witness.livejournal.com]

How do we know Easter's here?
Chocolate bunnies do appear!
If Christ had risen twice that year
We could have more chocolate!

[meritahut.livejournal.com]

Awesome! :D

[fair-witness.livejournal.com]

I can't take credit for it, though I do know the guy who wrote it:

http://www.virtualchocolate.com/chocolatemuse/chocolatesong.cfm

[cheqyr.livejournal.com]

They can keep the rest of their chocolate Jesus ... just give me the heart.

[meritahut.livejournal.com]

It's the most romantic thing I've ever seen. Next to, say, a real heart in a box, which is harder to get via mail order.

[seian.livejournal.com]

Doesn't look like Jesus was properly tempered. And where is his hair?

Or was the string licorice 'do' still being constructed?

[meritahut.livejournal.com]

Maybe that and a marzipan loincloth would have appeased the censors.

[jetbaby.livejournal.com]

"You got Christ in my chocolate!"
"You got chocolate on my Christ!"

Seems to me, divinity and chocolate make a good team.

[meritahut.livejournal.com]

I really, really want this one (http://www.chocolatedeities.com/deity.php?deity=willendorf).

I'd also love to see a giant chocolate peanut butter-filled Ganesh.

[ebifugue.livejournal.com]

You know what, I bet the reason it caused so much ire was not because he was made of chocolate, but more because he was nude. Ahhh my delicate Catholic sensibilities, Jesus Christ had a wang? Say it isn't so!

...Come on Cardinal, it's easter, it is about TIME we had a chocolate Christ to usher in all the bunnies!

[meritahut.livejournal.com]

It seems to me I've seen Christ depicted nude before... in mediaeval art, maybe? The frailty of the mortal form, the transcendence from our humble naked flesh into something divine. But Criminey, if you don't want to see a chocolate penis, don't look at the chocolate penis.

I think the protestors should have just run up and covered the terrifying body part with figs, which would have been tasteful and tasty, and a bit of performance art. Or maybe a pecan nut log.

Now I'm going to have to draw Crazy Mean Jesus visiting a nude beach when summer gets here. Maybe an entire series of Crazy Mean Naked Jesus visiting interesting places. Crazy Mean Naked Jesus visits the poor. Crazy Mean Naked Jesus heals the lame. Crazy Mean Naked Jesus goes to an art gallery....

[palusbuteo.livejournal.com]

And not realizing, the protestors shut down the exhibit of a model of Mexican descent that just happened to be named Jesus.

Oh, for the silliest mistakes of mispronouciation and perceptions! Oh what silly hoomans we be!

The whole silly concept puts a whole new spin on "This is my body/blood, take it and eat/drink it"

...did the blueprints of the chocolate jesus have it made so that when he's put on the cross and/or his side is pierced, does he bleed chocolate like one of those chocolate fountains?

...And we all know which parts of the chocolate jesus would have been made with White and Dark chocolates....

[la-colere.livejournal.com]

CHOCOLATE IS THE FOOD OF THE DAMN GODS. Unless you're monotheistic. (Then you're fucked...and without chocolate.)

[perilousknits.livejournal.com]

I don't care if it rains or freezes
'Long as I got my Chocolate Jesus . . .

[prettydragoon.livejournal.com]

It's only white chocolate that is the Devil's tool.

The best part of Easter (Easter shopping, at least) is that you can buy Mignon eggs. They are actual eggshells filled with solid milk chocolate. To eat one is to get a taste of Paradise.

[cyanocorax.livejournal.com]

Thank you for CMJ! One of the nice things about traveling is that I get to read a whole bunch of your stuff at once.