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Last night I discovered that more than, say, two people occasionally stop by this journal. (Hi, people! Howyadoing?) I'd been getting a bit better at updating the Outside Food Blog (until I got worse), but I really need to decide whether I'm going to maintain both or just one or the other or what. One nice thing about the LJ Friends list which I'm just discovering (yes, only just discovering) is how easy it makes it for me to read all my Friends' journals at once. Whee.
I need things that make small tasks even easier than they already are. Over the past few years my coping skills have eroded into dust.
The moment I think about the list of things I have to get done today, I can feel something congeal in my chest (must be all that dust from my eroded coping skills), and my limbs freeze into locked position, and I am suddenly unable to do anything on my to-do list at all. Which is silly, because I don't suppose it's really all that much I need to get done. I'll spell it out; then it'll be on the public record and we can all see how much I actually accomplish today.
1. Make at least 3 job contacts. Required by the unemployment office. After almost four months of no unemployment check (hence four months of about zero income; the result of Evil Golf Guy maliciously lying to them about my employment with him, which is far too long a story to explain parenthetically, but suffice it to say the unemployment office, after four months of assuming he was telling the truth just Because, have reversed their decision), I am back on their books, which is not a lot of income but is better than none. On the one hand I'd be happy to apply to 3 dozen positions. On the other, that's 33 more chances to be silently rejected by HR and erode my coping skills yet more.
2. Worry about how all my potential employers are reading this journal. Paranoia keeps the parts of my brain occupied that might otherwise be engaged in nihilism, so I don't mind it so much.
3. Mail mortgage payment.
4. Mail HOA payment.
5. Mail a little something to the person who lent me enough funds so that I didn't lose the house last year.
6. Mail my holiday cards. I mean, New Year's Cards. I mean, Anniversary of the Founding of Rome Cards. I mean...Birthday Cards? My birthday is imminent (I generally celebrate it on the 19th along with Edgar Allan Poe, but it is really tomorrow. Now you know), and maybe I can pretend having another birthday doesn't freak me out, by sending cards to everyone else, in a sort of hobbit-y way. I've always liked the hobbit way of celebrating birthdays by giving your own party and giving gifts to others. It did seem to alarm the people at the marketing/ad agency I worked for when I decorated my office one January and gave out gifts in kiddie-party bags. You'd think ad/marketing people would be accustomed to bizarre behaviour. The industry must make them suspicious of giveaways.
7. Mail out contracts and payment for recent Abyss & Apex acceptances. I'm not an editor or even webmaster for A&A, I'll add, lest it seem as if I do any of the real work. And that allows me to compliment the folks who actually do the hard work.
8. Spend an inordinately long time updating my blogs.
Hey! Look! I got one thing on my list done!
I need things that make small tasks even easier than they already are. Over the past few years my coping skills have eroded into dust.
The moment I think about the list of things I have to get done today, I can feel something congeal in my chest (must be all that dust from my eroded coping skills), and my limbs freeze into locked position, and I am suddenly unable to do anything on my to-do list at all. Which is silly, because I don't suppose it's really all that much I need to get done. I'll spell it out; then it'll be on the public record and we can all see how much I actually accomplish today.
1. Make at least 3 job contacts. Required by the unemployment office. After almost four months of no unemployment check (hence four months of about zero income; the result of Evil Golf Guy maliciously lying to them about my employment with him, which is far too long a story to explain parenthetically, but suffice it to say the unemployment office, after four months of assuming he was telling the truth just Because, have reversed their decision), I am back on their books, which is not a lot of income but is better than none. On the one hand I'd be happy to apply to 3 dozen positions. On the other, that's 33 more chances to be silently rejected by HR and erode my coping skills yet more.
2. Worry about how all my potential employers are reading this journal. Paranoia keeps the parts of my brain occupied that might otherwise be engaged in nihilism, so I don't mind it so much.
3. Mail mortgage payment.
4. Mail HOA payment.
5. Mail a little something to the person who lent me enough funds so that I didn't lose the house last year.
6. Mail my holiday cards. I mean, New Year's Cards. I mean, Anniversary of the Founding of Rome Cards. I mean...Birthday Cards? My birthday is imminent (I generally celebrate it on the 19th along with Edgar Allan Poe, but it is really tomorrow. Now you know), and maybe I can pretend having another birthday doesn't freak me out, by sending cards to everyone else, in a sort of hobbit-y way. I've always liked the hobbit way of celebrating birthdays by giving your own party and giving gifts to others. It did seem to alarm the people at the marketing/ad agency I worked for when I decorated my office one January and gave out gifts in kiddie-party bags. You'd think ad/marketing people would be accustomed to bizarre behaviour. The industry must make them suspicious of giveaways.
7. Mail out contracts and payment for recent Abyss & Apex acceptances. I'm not an editor or even webmaster for A&A, I'll add, lest it seem as if I do any of the real work. And that allows me to compliment the folks who actually do the hard work.
8. Spend an inordinately long time updating my blogs.
Hey! Look! I got one thing on my list done!
